AILANS JOURNAL

ailanc @ 2007-10-14T20:42:00

2007-10-15T02:45:15Z

wow i havent updated in a while. i finally am so close to finishing school and now im sick. Ill just have to push through and continue with the 12 hour days until grad. Im back home now to after visiting friends, its nice to finally sleep in your old bed. anyways speaking of bed i should probably head there if i want to get up early like i planned.

later

new macbook yay

2006-12-11T04:04:21Z

i am the proud new owner of a macbook. its very cool.

you always make big plans that never go anywhere. huge ideas with long term goals that set you above the rest. but where are you now? back to youre same old games. it makes me feel so much better to think that youll stay where youre at while i speed past you.

tickle me elmo

2006-09-23T17:03:41Z

We got up early today to get these at toys r us. They sold out on the
19th but got more in or something. Anyways supposedly people will be
going crazy for these at xmas and then we'll see them for more?
We saw jackass last night and I don't know what we're doing tonite....
I better get some more sleep though.
-ailan

ailanc @ 2006-09-18T01:21:00

2006-09-18T07:21:46Z

Ps. Rehearsal space and a dirty hotel room.
-Ailan

ailanc @ 2006-09-10T12:44:00

2006-09-10T18:44:43Z

At the hotel in vancouver.
I think I'm guna go swim.
-ailan

There's no place like home

2006-09-10T06:28:05Z

I'm sitting staring 21 floors down at a picture. Nothing seems real, colors are faded and dulled by the two-way window reflection. Specs of people below go about their business unaware of what goes on in the buildings around them. Across I see the 21st floor in the building paralell to mine. Business men in suits sipping champagne surrounded by laptops. Maybe this deal will go sour. I could witness my first gun battle 21 floors up.
We play musical chairs with the big comfy couches in our hotel rooms. The ones that leave us perched over windows like gargoyles. The window measures 7"x16", hardly an escape route....

Todays lesson
Q is for quilt
A friendly reminder from the staff at this fine establishment that the top duvet cover is a quilt that goes on top.
Q is for calling it quits. Time draws on and all you can think about is heading home and having another drink with your friends at your favorite bar. Pack up and come home she says. You were the last good thing about this part of town. You could never tell a lie.
Be home soon.
-Alan

leaving soon.

2006-08-07T09:28:19Z

so we're almost ready to move. our house was sold within a week and now we are leaving for Vancouver in a little over a month. I have to finish packing my stuff a lot sooner than my mom though because ill be on vacation in BC for the last 2 weeks of August anyways. I might have a job at a recording studio when i get there, im still waiting to hear back from some people. Other than that its just going to be like a really long vacation. Its soo nice there, and i miss living by the ocean. i swear i could watch the cruise ships come in and out all day. Itll be hard at first to try meet new people but everyones ready to come visit as soon as they can. Plus ill be back here visiting lots anyways cus luckily my dad still lives here. I gotta start packing up my room tomorrow, its such a mess.
anyways, bed time.

-ailan

vanncouvrr

2006-07-13T18:41:33Z

so we just got back from visiting vancouver and now my mom is ready to sell our house and move there. she is going to be gone by august and then ill most likely end up going there eventually. Its so nice there. Ill be living with my dad when she goes which kinda sucks cus hes a little more out of the way for hanging out with people and friends. but i have a car so atleast ill still beable to get around. i have to plan something for bills birthday on friday cus he said he wouldnt do anything unless it was planned and then on saturday ill probably hang out with ashley after work.

llleeaakk

2006-06-09T18:31:54Z

the more people that i know are downloading and listening to my music the more critical i get about it. the more i pick apart each line and say that i could have done better there or redone that section and not been so lazy. some demo's we were working on all of a sudden appeared on some torrent sites and have had around 30 downloads in a couple hours. i dont know if thats a good thing or a bad thing.
-ailan

whyyy oh whyy

2006-06-07T10:38:06Z

its the nights when you cant sleep and your up all along at 4am when you start thinking and putting things in perspective. im worried about my band and the lack of enthusiasm. We've got 2 people who are really into it and would be willing to give up anything for it. and then theres the 2 that are barely playing their instruments...barely coming to a practice and barely caring. Im determined not to let 2 people ruin everything though, Its only making me want to work harder to accomplish things ive always wanted to do...with or without them.
god this sounds to corny...just reading it back. I know ive read these exact same things on other peoples journals before saying 'oh man my band is falling apart but we'll still make it big its cool...' but its not like that. this is just somethinig thats fun and im not expecting anything out of it. im not expecting a record deal or a million dollars. im being realistic. i just wish i knew more people who were as into making music as me.
ah i really need to sleep...probably isnt going to happen

-ailan

newcar

2006-05-26T17:02:56Z

so my car broke down the other day :( on the way to camping which was even worse. but luckily my dad came and got us and drove us the rest of the way so the weekend was so bad. actually lots of fun. i found out yesterday that my car was unfixable..or atleast unfixable to me because of 2000 dollars. so my mechanic told me about this other car hes had lying around which hes fixed everything on. so my new car is DUN DUN DUN DAAAAA.. a 1988 volkwagen jetta. oh yes its pretty lol.

i gotta go out today and clean out my old car which is still at the mechanics and then call a scrap yard place to take it and give me as little money as there going to. and then i gotta pick up my dad from work and drive him to get HIS broken down car from the shop since its fixed now. and then im going to xmen 3 tonite. exciting:)

im an addict for dramatics

2006-04-28T08:56:44Z

the internet dramalama train is here. all aboard
outside fall is apparent
pity leaves are falling like tears on worn out cheeks
ending up right where you started (and where you'll end up)
you turn \left for greener pastures/
but we'll turn right while moving faster.

you be the lead-on but ill be the lead-er

face the facts
their half porcelain/half glass
lets push our way back on track.
one class act. curtain call.
bow. smile. (repeat)

wow lots of heat about the last blog i did for my bands purevolume page. a joke about our guitarists girlfriend being yoko ono because we thought she was pulling him away from the band was taken way out of proportion...needless to say she got a little angry. i apologized though and everything is fine. although he is still pretty much out of the band..by his own decision.
i finally started the podcast that i wanted to do today. well actually more like finished it. the first official podcast by my band was 8 minutes long but we dont have a lot to say until we get more used to it. we talked about the latest movies, some hockey playoff prediction stuff, new bands coming up and setting up some new segments that we're going to try and start. i was pretty happy with how it turned out because its just like a conversation with 2 friends but its not one of those boring 'you have to know us to get the jokes' kind of talks. i hate that. when your out with people and they have inside jokes and/or talk about stories that i have no chance of knowing anything about.
tomorrow is ashleys play. she said it went good tonite, its 3 nights long but i can only make it to one of them. tonite was the hockey game i paid a ridiculous amount of money to go to. and then after the play tomorrow i think we'll all meet up at a bar and celebrate with some friends. should be fun.
anyways im off to bed.

-ailan

ailanc @ 2006-04-24T01:56:00

2006-04-24T08:02:29Z

Reply to this entry by posting a picture of yourself, then post this sentence in your own journal.

turn around

2006-04-24T07:46:25Z

i hate friends who turn their backs on you. we lost our first bass player who wasnt really ever in the band, and now we're on the verge of losing our rhythm guitarist. gf's mess everything up..and for someone who doesnt think for themselves that is a bad thing.
you liked every song we had before she got invovled. you were there when i recorded your guitar parts because you couldnt play them. you liked the way every song was turning out. and now you turn your back on all of us. we're assholes?
fuck you

the most honest ive ever been with myself.

2006-04-17T06:54:32Z

im doing this just for me. i could care less if i had 1 fan or 50. although last count was 36 plus 21. if something that i started on my own in my bedroom when i had nothing else to do turns out to be liked by someone else who isnt trying to impress me..im happy. i had no expectations..im still nervous at every turn and never let any of the compliments get to me. i dont cry out for attention like the rest or ask for 'their' opinions on my music..although i respect the people who can do that. i dont try and force this stuff down peoples throat because i know that not everyone will like it.
ill leave it up to them to decide..all i leave is a small link (purevolume.com/thefuss and /ailanchristopherproject) and they can make up their own mind..and when they like it they wont tell me because ive proved them all wrong..and when they dont like it theyll tell me for sure..because they think they knew it all along.
fuck them. fuck the bands who steal my thoughts and ideas and pass it off as their own. im not a muse..or a vessel to steal ideas from.
also..
i hate their smug attitudes..the 'hardcore' kids who won't respect a band for accomplishments that are staring everyone rite in the face...selling a million cd's doesnt mean a band sucks..it means you dislike them.
unless your milli vanili you were a major part in the creative process that sold all those cd's.
oh well im to tired to go on.

-ailan

hospital thoughts.

2006-04-11T06:43:32Z

i was just reading a notepad that i guess i was writing in after surgery on my leg...and here goes.

i cant take these gowns with metal straps that tie up in the back
2 ribbons on my wrist tell everyone about me. reveal all my secrets.
keep pumping the drugs, topping up the stale gingerale and checking my pulse

remember everything out of order and out of line
pay attention to these words
i swim in cc's and milligram pools
maybe this is what it feels like to be sober. (the most fucked up you ever were)
ache for a guitar and a record. leave me be

--
so most of it was a blur as you can see by what was going on in my mind.
anyways..today i went and saw a new movie. thank you for smoking. it was pretty good, definatly recommend it.
my hoodie comes in the mail tomorrow. i ordered one off of ebay so im pretty excited about that.
time for bed.

-ailan

late night conversation

2006-04-04T08:59:01Z

i was away again after saying id be updating this thing because i had leg surgery to fix my right calf muscle..so now im hobbling around on crutches.. i still cant fully extend my leg because the stitches are along the back of my knee joint and down my calf..not as painful as you'd think though.
Me and bmack hit a bar on sunday night to watch the wrastling event of the year..it was awesome despite the hardcore fans who take it way to far. I'm going to try and record a new song blind tomorrow. I don't usually record without lyrics in mind but I'm having trouble fitting stuff together lately so hopefully this will kick start it. I've been getting really into podcasts soon to, I think I'm going to try and start one. What about? Is yet to be determined.
does anyone have any ideas??
-ailan

ive shaken off more heartbreaks than my heart can take.

2006-03-19T09:17:50Z

i almost had a panic attack yesterday as my beloved imac wouldnt turn back on after running slow for a couple days and then as i was fixing something on the back it fell off my bed. oddly enough when i picked it back up and tried plugging it in again it started working.
st. patricks day was pretty cool, went out with everyone..that was lots of fun. james ended up puking for a bit outside.
and then today i went swimming at the waterpark and then to the casino. i felt bad for ashley ..she never wins anything..we only put in 5 bucks each and played slots and i came out with 55..and she lost it all. i made it up to her by buying her juice. heh and then we ate and went home.

i finally have time to type in this thing..its been forever. but im home now, i havent slept in my own bed for a while..always crashing at peoples houses.

before we call it quits, im calling you out on all of this. shades of deep purple and red line my tender fists
from asphalt and flesh that were never meant to kiss.
...thats all i got.

anyways its late and i need sleep.

ill be commenting again on peoples journals so yeah i still want to be your friends. :)

-ailan

its been a while..

2006-02-23T22:22:45Z

wow i havent written an entry in so long. ive been pretty busy and away from the computer for a while. anyways nothing really interesting has happened lately ..i went to the relient k concert last night which was awesome..first time i had seen them live. wooo!

does everyone remember their first concert experience? who was it?

on another note im pretty pissed off about a band which will remain nameless. my band is barely in the music scene yet and we're already getting ripped off. specifically song titles.. maybe ill write a song about a backstabbing band...
i was pretty mad about that until i was looking at this forum for a local website and everyone was talking about us saying how much they like the music and telling all their friends about. so that puts a smile on my face :)

its my moms birthday today..we're not doing much today but on sunday im taking her out for brunch after church.. cus she wants me to go so i said i would for her birthday.

ok well i better go

-ailan

be my valentine

2006-02-13T08:51:44Z

we are the boys you'll never forget..even know you wished you could.
the boys who cut out construction paper hearts and hand delivered them to your cubby.
the ones who did your homework and carried your bookbag home after school.
i froze when you called for last nights assignment. tonights assignment.. dont fuck up.
im the one you sat beside to cheat (but not to eat).
the 'just friends' reigning champion.

now were the boys you'll never forget. the ones you ask to sign your tshirts and cds. we play the soundtrack to your life through little white earbuds. we're that song that you can't get out of your head.
but were are you now? serving up coffee while we're serving up hits.
tonights assignment... go fuck yourself.

valentines day is almost here! does everyone have someone to hug??
i think ill probably go for dinner with ashley and yeah im not sure what else. we said we'd keep it small so probably not much more.
this weekend i saw an old friend for his birthday party and then saw more old friends who were there. after you havent seen people for a while you meet up again and realize how much theyve changed. or maybe its just me thats changed... :S we recorded a new demo song which im very proud of..hopefully itll be up on PV soon.

who plays or has played an instrument? jw

-ailan

do you eat cereal?

2006-02-08T09:11:40Z

im still griping from the superbowl because seattle was my team and they lost. boo. today i worked and then hung out with ashley and now im home. pretty boring actually. tomorrow is wednesday so its band practice and then probably go out and play pool cus its cheap.

Whats everyones favorite cereal? im eating frosted flakes right now (yes i know old school..considering all these new sugar filled ones out now)

you only kiss me behind closed doors.
when lips pressed in the dark lead to leaning against dresser drawers.

heres to lookin at you kid.

-ailan

school fee's suck

2006-02-04T09:08:49Z

i avoided coming on here and commenting on peoples journals until i watched the oc this week incase anyone had written something about it. but now i seen it so we're good. although for anyone who does watch the show..the ending bothered me for some reason :x
anyways..friday i had to go meet with some government guy to see how much i can get for my student loan since school starts march 22 and i kinda need to have everything figured out by then. Im appealing to get more because their stupid and pretty much determine how much their going to give you based on your parents salary..because in a perfect world...'they would give you the rest of the money you need'. i mean sure my mom and dad will help out but their are some people out there who dont have very supportive parents at all..that would just suck.

we finally have a new bass player for the band. he bought his new bass today so i guess we can officially start practicing again as a full unit. im excitedddd

i realized that im a girl when it comes to shoes. i love all different kinds and shopping for new ones. i have 23 pairs of different kinds....is that bad? :x how many pairs of shoes does everyone have?

//youre just the burn on the tip of my tongue, which hurts a bit more each time youre name is sung.//

bedtime.

-ailan the alligator

ailanc @ 2006-02-01T02:30:00

2006-02-01T09:33:33Z

where have all the toy commericials gone?
is it just me cus im older or are there less of them..or maybe they just came out at christmas? you know the ones im talking about..for like remote control cars and toy guns ( now that i think about it ive seen a couple barbie ones lately)

anyways today i had a pretty busy day which ended with work and hanging out with ashley for a bit. it was late by the time i got there so i felt bad..but she was still happy i came.

tomorrow im going to the mall, then band practice and then going to play pool. oh and i finally got a hold of niki..we're goin to a movie on monday next week.

oh and my friend steve's girl ended up calling him and theyre hanging out thursday...so i guess they (girls) arent evil all the time.

anyways im going to bed i feel like this is boring and not very interesting.

-ailan

ailanc @ 2006-01-30T02:57:00

2006-01-30T09:59:48Z

got lots to do over the next couple days...including returning a bunch of stuff..hunting out receipts for stuff that shoulda been done weeks ago..and avoiding letting people who i havent seen the longest down.

we're recording a new song tomorrow. i always get nervous and excited at the same time cus i never know how it will turn out until its done. will you like it? like it please..
i think ill write a song about steve...my buddy who got let down by this girl the other night. he was incredibly let down. it sucks when 'they' do that to you.

hold your hand out and we'll compare life long scars and late night dares that make these nights worth while. (was it worth it?)

-ailan

wwwwwoooooo

2006-01-23T08:14:31Z

"hehe andria said i wouldnt like you. Your a fuckin badass.... get yourself heard my friend. You have some talent. "

so thats pretty cool, it makes me smile that i made someone else smile or impacting them in some way. i never set out to make music for anyone but myself because of all the ideas in my head that i wanted a hard copy of so i could listen to them all the time. people liking them was just a positive side-effect i guess.

anyways i didnt do alot today..went out to grab something to eat with brett at this place called montana's. it was pretty good. the burger was huge. then i went to work with my dad for a bit. and then saw ashley for a couple hours and now im back home ready to go to bed.

so goodnite :)

-ailan